you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
