In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
