Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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