He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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