I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
