Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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