dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
