Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
