Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
