...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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