She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
