We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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