I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
