rhymes with "ouble enetration"
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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