I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Can't talk, ducks in the car
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
