i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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