i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
