Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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