Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS