Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.