I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
