how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
We left an ass print on the piano.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
19 Doctors Confess The Most Difficult Situation They’ve Ever Had To Face
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap