At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO