I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
one two three fourrrrnication!
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life