wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
