Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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