how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
