It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
