Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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