She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
