so that wasnt chicken after all
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
