Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
