i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
