Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Randomize
