hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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