i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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