Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
