Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
