so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
