im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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