At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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