remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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