Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
