WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
