dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
