I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
