I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
he's single and there are thong briefs.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
