Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
