How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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