so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
