Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
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