I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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