I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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