why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
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