all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize