idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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