I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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