Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Can you bring me the toilet please
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
