Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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