Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
