Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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