How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
