he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
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No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
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I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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