I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We left the knife in your bed.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Randomize
