Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
