Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
